Last week we talked about focusing on solutions instead of arguing and assigning blame.
This weeks, let’s talk about active listening which can be a game-changing skill for conflict resolution.
Imagine this scenario: you’re in the midst of a heated discussion with a tenant about an air conditioning unit that isn’t working. Everyone is mad and tensions are running high. Instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, or thinking about what you are going to say to defend yourself, or zoning out, it’s time to kick active listening into gear.
First off, let’s talk about what active listening really means. It’s not just nodding along while you mentally plan your response. (I have a bad habit of doing that!) Nope, it’s about fully engaging with what the other person is saying. It’s like putting on your detective hat and diving deep into their perspective, thoughts, and feelings. By giving the tenant your undivided attention and truly understanding their point of view, you lay the groundwork for meaningful dialogue and resolution. Remember, at this point, no matter how aggravated you are, it’s not about you. It’s about how hot your tenant is in this example.
Next up, let’s talk about the power of validation. When someone feels heard and understood, it’s like flipping a switch from confrontation to connection. Validate the tenant’s feelings by acknowledging their concerns and expressing empathy. It’s not about agreeing with everything they say, but rather showing that you respect their perspective and are genuinely interested in finding common ground. I have found that this tends to calm them down. They just want to feel heard and understood.
In order for this to work, you need to eliminate distractions. If you are like me, you are multi-tasking while listening to your tenant talk. Your tenant will only get madder if they realize you aren’t really listening to how miserable they are. The situation will then escalate.
In order to properly listen to your tenant, you need to minimize your computer screen (if you are me), put down your devices, clear your mind, and give the tenant your full attention. Trust me, mastering the art of active listening is like unlocking the key to resolving conflicts with grace and empathy.
This is a skill set that I am working on and it really is amazing how well it works when you use it effectively. Tenants will still be mad but will wind down faster and be ready to listen to your solution more quickly.
Be sure and join my free Facebook Group Commonsense Landlording for more landlording tips.
