by Debbie Vornholt | Apr 28, 2025 | Landlord
Landlords contact me all the time because they are extremely worried and upset about a tenant who has moved someone into their rental that is not on the lease. They want to know what to do.
This used to really bother me as well. I manage a large number and variety of properties and have been a property manager since 2010. Tenants moving someone else into the rental property is actually very common. They live there and they pay the rent and they feel that they have the right to have anyone they want living with them.
My Opinion
I realize that my opinion is not going to be popular and many landlords won’t agree but I usually just talk to the tenant, monitor the situation going forward and let it go until a problem arises. I understand that I have a lease with specific people and I can legally enforce it. Over the years I have found that confronting the tenant and insisting on adding these people to the lease can cause other problems. Before I will agree to rent to anyone, I run a credit report and a criminal background check. The problem is that the people these tenants have moved in will rarely meet my guidelines and I would never rent to them.
Convincing these people to actually fill out an application and pay the application fee can be a challenge. Assuming I get them to do so, they almost never qualify to rent from me. When I tell them that they don’t meet my guidelines and they have to move out, this causes other issues. Usually, they just either flatly refuse to move or they tell me they will move but never do. Once this happens, it starts to get expensive, which affects profitability and it gets ugly.
Once I force the issue, it leads to an eviction filing. When this happens, the tenant and their unapproved guest, get mad, they stop paying and they usually tear up the property. Court dates in my area are usually booked out 4-6 weeks and then they get another week or two to pay or get out. So, I then have to hope they move out or I have to pay to set them out. Once they are all out, I am almost always left with a mess.
Then I have the cost and aggravation of a vacant property without the monthly rent payment. Repairs will be needed and in a perfect world, that can take a month or two to complete. Then I have to go through the entire process of finding a new tenant for the property and hope they don’t move someone else in as well.
You have to ask yourself, is it really worth the expense of enforcing this lease clause? For some landlords, the answer will be yes and I respect that. After several very costly situations that were the result of enforcing this clause. I no longer enforce it as long as there are no issues.
This Is A Common Issue
To be really honest, this is such a common issue and it got to very expensive to keep strictly enforcing this lease clause. While it annoys me, I stopped enforcing that years ago. The lease clearly states that only the people on the lease can live in the property. Once it comes to my attention that someone else is living there, I make contact with the tenant. They either tell me the truth or will lie and say that this person is only staying for a short time. My goal is to let the tenant know that I am aware they are breaking the lease. I always remind them that they are the only person on the lease and they are in violation of the lease. The conversation will also include me pointing out that the tenant is responsible for any damage the other person causes and if there are any issues, they are risking being evicted along with the person not on the lease. After that, I just keep an eye on them and just let it go unless there are problems.
Most of the time, there are no issues. I manage a large number of properties and I am not going to police the tenants to such an extent that they feel unwelcome in the home they are paying to live in. The vast majority of my tenants stay for 5 years or more. Some of my tenants have been in their property for more than 15 years.
A lot of landlords tell me they charge extra rent for the extra person and my question is “Why?”. The rent on the property is the rent and I am not going to charge extra for more people. As long as the tenant pays the rent, takes care of the property and doesn’t cause any problems, is it really worth creating a problem with such an otherwise good tenant?
If I have a 3 bedroom property, do I think it is great if only one or two people move into it? Yes! Less wear and tear. But, technically, a family of at least 6 could move into that property and by law I can’t charge more rent, especially if it is a family with kids. Student housing obviously works differently and I charge by the room because that is how that works.
I also feel that if the tenant on the lease is stupid enough to move someone else into the property and they cause damage, that is on them. I have a very stringent tenant screening process and I don’t rent to just anyone. The tenants that I rent to have good jobs, good rental histories and good credit scores. They tend to want to protect their credit and will either write a check for the damages or I turn them over for collections.
What If There Is A Problem?
While most of these situations work out fine, every so often there is a problem and I just deal with it. During Covid, a tenant called in a plumbing leak and I sent a plumber over to fix the problem. He called me and said there were at least a dozen people living there. There were three full sized beds in the basement along with several hanging racks of clothes and personal belongings. He also said he saw 5 dogs and 2 cats. This was a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom property that had a full unfinished basement. The basement did not have fire egress and was not considered to be a finished, livable area. I contacted the tenant who honestly told me that two different sets of family members had lost their jobs and had moved in with him and his wife. To make matters worse, he had just found out that he was going to be downsized at his job. I told him that there were too many people in the house and he agreed to be out at the end of the month.
There were two things that I told him would happen. First, he would be getting a Cease And Desist. That was my only legal recourse at that time as he was current on his rent. Second, I told him that I needed to set up a time to do a pre-move out inspection with him to determine what shape the house was in and what work needed to be done. He was fine with both. The only issue with the property were the walls. The house needed to be completely repainted. They otherwise left the property in great shape.
Use Commonsense
Anytime you are dealing with tenants, I recommend using commonsense. At the end of the day, one extra person is not going to cause that much wear and tear. The tenant who is on the lease assumes the liability for the person they allowed to move in. That tenant will have to pay for any damages that result from this extra person. Be sure your screening process is very strict and the people that you rent to have good credit scores, good income and good jobs. People who take care of their credit will not want to risk damaging it. On the other hand, people with bad credit won’t care if you go after them. Pick your tenants wisely and that will go a long way towards heading off any problems.
by Debbie Vornholt | Apr 21, 2025 | Landlord
Last week we talked about focusing on solutions instead of arguing and assigning blame.
This weeks, let’s talk about active listening which can be a game-changing skill for conflict resolution.
Imagine this scenario: you’re in the midst of a heated discussion with a tenant about an air conditioning unit that isn’t working. Everyone is mad and tensions are running high. Instead of just waiting for your turn to speak, or thinking about what you are going to say to defend yourself, or zoning out, it’s time to kick active listening into gear.
First off, let’s talk about what active listening really means. It’s not just nodding along while you mentally plan your response. (I have a bad habit of doing that!) Nope, it’s about fully engaging with what the other person is saying. It’s like putting on your detective hat and diving deep into their perspective, thoughts, and feelings. By giving the tenant your undivided attention and truly understanding their point of view, you lay the groundwork for meaningful dialogue and resolution. Remember, at this point, no matter how aggravated you are, it’s not about you. It’s about how hot your tenant is in this example.
Next up, let’s talk about the power of validation. When someone feels heard and understood, it’s like flipping a switch from confrontation to connection. Validate the tenant’s feelings by acknowledging their concerns and expressing empathy. It’s not about agreeing with everything they say, but rather showing that you respect their perspective and are genuinely interested in finding common ground. I have found that this tends to calm them down. They just want to feel heard and understood.
In order for this to work, you need to eliminate distractions. If you are like me, you are multi-tasking while listening to your tenant talk. Your tenant will only get madder if they realize you aren’t really listening to how miserable they are. The situation will then escalate.
In order to properly listen to your tenant, you need to minimize your computer screen (if you are me), put down your devices, clear your mind, and give the tenant your full attention. Trust me, mastering the art of active listening is like unlocking the key to resolving conflicts with grace and empathy.
This is a skill set that I am working on and it really is amazing how well it works when you use it effectively. Tenants will still be mad but will wind down faster and be ready to listen to your solution more quickly.
Be sure and join my free Facebook Group Commonsense Landlording for more landlording tips.
by Debbie Vornholt | Apr 14, 2025 | Landlord
This week, let’s talk about a game-changing approach to resolving conflicts: focusing on solutions, not blame.
Picture this: you’re knee-deep in a heated disagreement with a tenant, and the blame game is in full swing. It doesn’t matter whether you are a property manager or a self-managing owner, we have all been there. The tenant is mad and accusing you of not taking care of a situation. You on the other hand, have acted as quickly as possible and feel the tenant is being completely unreasonable!!! Sound familiar?
At this point, no matter how right you are, there is no winning this argument. So, instead of pointing fingers and getting caught up in who’s right or wrong, it’s time to shift gears and zero in on finding a solution that works for everyone involved.
First things first, you need to reframe the conversation. This kind of argument will never end if you don’t. Instead of dwelling on the timing, or past mistakes or assigning fault, focus on the present and future. It’s like flipping the script from a courtroom drama to a collaborative brainstorming session. By shifting the focus from blame to problem-solving, you create a positive and forward-thinking atmosphere where both parties can work together towards a common goal. The tenant may still try to re-engage but just keep moving forward.
For example, if the air conditioning has gone out and it is hot outside, empathize and explain the process and the timeline of events will go a long way towards calming the situation down. While everyone is working as fast as they can, there is only so much you or anyone can do. Units usually have to be ordered and that can take a few days. Maybe offer a temporary solution of providing a couple of window units. The tenant may not be happy but will have a temporary solution and should understand that you are helping in the best way you can.
So, the next time you have an unhappy tenant who just wants to fight with you, as hard as it can be, take a breath and try to focus on fixing the issue. Arguing isn’t going to solve the issue. Your job is to find and lay out a plan that works for everyone involved.
When you learn how to reframe the conversation and focus on a solution instead of who is to blame, you can more easily navigate even the toughest conflicts with grace and integrity. No one wants to argue with tenants. Refusing to be drawn into an argument will alleviate a lot of your stress and demonstrate to the tenant that the problem will be solved without a lot of drama. Fix the problem first and then worry about who needs to be charged if necessary.
by Debbie Vornholt | Apr 7, 2025 | Landlord
Last week we talked about taking a breather and staying calm so that you don’t lose control of the situation.
This week let’s talk about putting yourself in their shoes and empathizing when things are getting tense.
Picture this: you’re on the phone with an angry tenant, and they’re laying it all out on the table. Instead of clapping back or shutting them down, take a step back and try to see things from their perspective.
Maybe they’re dealing with financial stress, health issues, or personal problems you know nothing about. From where we are standing, there is really no way for us to know what is going on in the tenant’s life at that time.
I had a tenant blow up at me earlier this year because she paid late and I sent her a 7 day letter. She told me she was doing the best she could and that I need to develop some patience. LOL. That didn’t go over very well. But, I stayed calm and reminded her that the lease dictated how I was required to respond and that the 7 day letter was basically her warning to pay. I had been having a bad day where everything seemed to be going wrong and my day ended with her yelling at me. She called me a couple of days later and apologized. I felt terrible after she explained that her very young son had died the previous month and she was struggling.
I would have still sent the 7 day letter but we have to never lose site of the fact that our tenants are people with problems of their own.
Empathy is your secret weapon here. It’s like flipping a switch from confrontation to connection. When you empathize with their situation, it’s easier to understand where they’re coming from and respond with compassion.
So next time you’re faced with a heated exchange, take a moment to step into their shoes and see the world through their eyes. You might just find that empathy is the key to unlocking a resolution that works for everyone. It doesn’t mean that you change your actions but that you react more kindly.
Next week, we will talk about focusing on solutions.
by Debbie Vornholt | Mar 31, 2025 | Landlord
How To Stay Calm – Take a Breather
When someone’s firing off at you like a cannon, taking a breather might feel like the last thing you want to do. LOL. I can see you rolling your eyes at me!
But trust me, it’s a game-changer. First off, don’t feel like you need to respond right away. One thing that I have learned is that if you pause for a moment and don’t fire right back, it can de-escalate the situation.
It gives you a moment to mentally step back, take a deep breath, and give yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. It’s like hitting the pause button on a heated exchange.
If you are actually standing in front of someone instead of being on the phone, if you can, physically remove yourself from the situation. Excuse yourself for a quick bathroom break or step outside for some fresh air. Sometimes just changing your surroundings can help dial down the intensity and give you a chance to regroup.
Now, here’s the kicker: distract yourself. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but it works.
When someone’s going off like a rocket, redirect your focus to something else for a minute. Count to ten, recite your favorite mantra silently, or picture yourself lounging on a tropical beach (ahh, bliss). It’s all about shifting your attention away from the chaos for a moment so you can come back to the conversation with a clearer head.
Trust me, mastering the art of taking a breather in the heat of the moment can save you from saying or doing something you might regret later. It won’t happen over night and it is something that I still struggle with. It is much easier for me to do on the phone. I get up and walk around the office.
Always be safe. Try to never put yourself in a situation where you are in front of someone who is very angry.
Next week, we will talk about putting yourself in their shoes.
by Debbie Vornholt | Mar 24, 2025 | Landlord
Let’s talk about prevention. Knowing your legal rights isn’t just about reacting to conflicts. It is more important to proactively prevent conflicts from happening in the first place. By incorporating legal provisions into your lease agreements, setting clear expectations for tenants, and staying up-to-date on relevant laws and regulations, you can create a strong foundation for a smooth landlord-tenant relationship. When a tenant objects to something, shut them down by referring them back to the lease that they signed!
Knowing your legal rights also gives you peace of mind. When you know your legal rights, it is easier to sleep soundly at night knowing that you’re protected if things go south. It’s like having a safety net to catch you if you fall.
Upset tenants can really do a number on all of mentally. So, the next time you’re feeling unsure or overwhelmed, remember: knowledge is power. By knowing your legal rights, you’re not just a landlord or property manager, you’re a savvy protector of your investment and your livelihood.
When you know your legal rights, you not only protect yourself, you are able to promote a fair and harmonious living environment for both you and your tenants. It’s like having a compass that guides you through the complexities of property management, ensuring that you stay on course and navigate any challenges that come your way with confidence and integrity.
